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The Oscars

The Oscars

I want to host the Oscars next year. What a great gig. You stand behind a microphone. You perform in awkward sketches with Adam Sandler. You don't even have to be funny. I can be unfunny. Where do I sign up?

Does Bruce Vilanche have to write for me, or can I come up with my own schtick?

Chris Rock isn't terribly funny to me. But last night was bad even for him. Is Vilanche still writing for the Oscars, or do the hosts get to come up with their own junk?

Though I did laugh at the bit with Albert Brooks and White Chicks. I thought that was pretty funny, for some reason.

Anyway. No particular gripe about the awards. And where's the fun in that? I thought these award shows were designed so that we'd have something to bitch about the next day.

I was kinda hoping for a grand slam for Million Dollar Baby, with Best Actor, Actress, Director and Picture. Who'da thunk the guy who played Wanda on In Living Color would have derailed that.

And maybe this is just me. I didn't see his speech live, just on the news this morning. Did Jamie Foxx's speech seem, I dunno, disingenous to anyone else? I watched it, and I said "that's his worst performance this year."

I also thought The Aviator might get more attention. Those old Academy types like movies that look back on Hollywood's past, especially if it's something from their glory days.

But I've got no gripe with the winners. Especially Morgan Freeman. Classy guy, that Morgan Freeman.

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