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Critique Contest with Guest Judge Judith Engracia! Let the Critiquing begin...and Entry Number 1

I'd like to thank Judith Engracia for being so gracious and offering to judge my critique contest.  Judith has a great book blog, if you don't already know about it and she works as a literary assistant at the Liza Dawson Associates Literary Agency.  Judith is currently building her client list.  

Judith's Bio....
Judith is a literary assistant at Liza Dawson Associates, handling audio rights and digital publishing. She graduated summa cum laude from Fordham University with a B.A. in English and History on a full presidential scholarship. Prior to joining Liza Dawson Associates in 2010, she interned at Random House and a number of literary agencies, including FinePrint Literary and Nancy Coffey Literary Management. She is currently building her client list and looking for all types of fiction, especially middle grade, young adult, urban fantasy, steampunk, and paranormal romance. When she's not reading, she is either training for her next martial arts test or causing mischief with her Siberian Husky, Grendel.


If you will remember, I asked that each of you critique at least ten entries if you entered this contest.  Hopefully this will give everyone some constructive feedback that they can work with.  Judith will be reading all the entries and choosing two winners by Saturday.  I will announce the winners on Sunday.  She will be emailing those two winners and requesting the first ten pages of their ms and she will be critiquing them.  Now if Judith happens to fall in love with a piece, I'm sure no one will mind if she asks me for an extra email address so she can contact you.  Right?

(If you are looking for my Show Me the Voice entry click here.)

Entry Number 1
 Title: The Blinded Gardener

Genre: Y/A contemporary

Meeting Danny changed the only life I knew: a breathing punching bag.

Once again, I found myself at a new school. My third in the past two years. It sucked having a dad in the military.

The final bell rang. As I wandered in the hall, I saw only one other guy besides me.

Maybe he can tell me how to get to my classroom?

He seemed unaware of me. Long bangs fell over his eyes as he loped passed me with a kind of natural ease.

“Hey, dude. Could you tell me how to get to room 305?”

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