Daphne Joy is a Good Person

This is Jason Derulo's girlfriend Daphne Joy. I have obviously never met her but let me see if I can describe her for you based strictly on how she's dressed. Oh and her pony tail.

• She hangs out in VIP bottle service sections in "clubs".
• Thinks Rolex is the classiest watch you could own.
• Goes to the pool (in Las Vegas of course) in high heels.
• Thinks Las Vegas is cool and fun.
• "It's expensive therefore it's better!" 
• Will stand by your side through thick and thin until the money runs out

I've been trying for two days to figure out a way to end this dumb story but I can't. I have zero interest in this oxygen waster and people like her annoy the Hell out of me, and frankly I wouldn't be any more interested in her than she'd be interested in me. I really just wanted a way to show you I remembered how to do bullet points. Pretty cool huh?